When Philando Castile was murdered a year ago my husband and I decided to take our kids down to a busy intersection near our house and hold up Black Lives Matter signs. Today we had our seventh corner stand, organized quickly after the unforgivably unjust ruling came out this past week letting Philando's murderer go free. Today's corner stand, now with friends at an even busier intersection, was... a bit intense. It was pretty representative of our country actually, the majority of people were decent, some honked in support, and then there was a small minority that were vocal and hateful.
One white man came up to the group of white women I was standing with and started telling us "all lives matter...black lives matter is racist...more white people get shot by police than black people..." He kept talking over our explanations that all lives WILL matter when black lives do, that standing up for black lives is not at all racist, that of course more white people are killed than black people since there are about 5x more white people in this country...we couldn't get a word in. And then Julian came over and got more pissed than I think I have ever seen him in the 13 years I have known him, and this white supremacist actually listened.
Because he was a fellow white man.
But even the magical effects of Julian's aura of white testosterone only lasted so long and the white supremacist started spewing absurdities again. When we stopped engaging with him he insisted on standing in front of us, between our signs and the street, with his legs spread apart and arms crossed, in a most pathetic attempt to intimidate us. This was all in front of multiple kids. When he finally left he passed Julian who was holding our red headed one year old and said, "I'm glad to see you're carrying on the white heritage."
We had another white man come up to us and talk at length about the problems with UCSC's administration and in a convoluted way, used the Afrikan Black Student Alliance's recent sit-in (that led to some significant victories such as accessible housing and mandatory diversity training for all incoming students) as an example of the school not protecting its students (and by students he meant *white* students). He seemed utterly confused about his own point and afraid that the racist beliefs behind his condemnation of the student action would be discovered but that didn't stop him from talking...and talking...and talking. Thankfully he chose my friend Sarah as his audience, Sarah who is a faculty member at UCSC and sits on some of the very committees he was calling into question. Sadly, despite Sarah's skill and knowledge, his whiteness and male ego got in the way of him actually listening and learning. At least he was more polite about it...? Gross.
Other takeaways:
White people need to do these actions!!!!!! If you are a white friend of mine, I am asking you to stretch yourself and go to some kind of Black Lives Matter related event. I am begging you. For two reasons: 1) people of color should not have to deal with this shit; 2) white people need to see what people of color are dealing with. Today our group faced about 15 minutes of solid racist bullshit and it was brutal. So many feelings from rage to confusion to despair to determination. 15 minutes and a cloud of heartache was hanging over me for the rest of the day. Now, compare that to what a person of color deals with, for their entire life. We white folks need to be reminded of this vileness constantly because our privilege makes it too easy to ignore. This is our mess to clean up, but first we have to acknowledge how truly filthy it is.
White men, y'all really need to stop talking. Like, start from there: JUST. STOP. TALKING. Please also stop assuming you are the smartest person in the room. In fact, assume you are NOT the smartest person in the room. These two simple actions are the first steps in your Misogyny Recovery.
Is Philando Castile “good” enough and his murder atrocious enough, and recorded enough, that it is finally making a dent in the shell of white liberals' indifference? Maybe? We seemed to get a lot more honks from white Subaru drivers today than in the past, and you know what they say about Subaru drivers...they still can't smash down the walls of institutional racism. Fuck.
Why don't more white male "allies" join us?
The difference between white women being racist/false allies vs men, is that men are the ones that have most of the power to actually change or maintain systems. This was a random thought that came up in conversation.
There is an undeniable connection between white men, their large trucks, and their fragile sense of power. Sooooo many white men revving their trucks to show us…I don’t know…their disrespect of the environment? One white bro didn’t drench our children in enough of his black exhaust fumes the first time he peeled out in front of us so he actually circled around and went for a second pass.
We need to do this more often
We need to stay visible
We need to get to know our DA and new police chief
White people need to take anti-racism efforts into all spaces. Silence is violence.
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